Archives for posts with tag: Model View Culture

I wrote about the ways toxic entitlement enables unintentional but substantial harm in STEM communities for Model View Culture’s current issue, Abuse.

When “I Didn’t Mean To” Makes it Worse

Entitlement and violation in STEM communities

We assume that our stories are universal. We assume that what helps us will help others. We ask, “Couldn’t you just…?” and explain that, actually, if they saw things our way they’d have it better. We ignore differences of ability, power, class, and culture to overwrite their stories with ours. We expect the world to be as we want it, and when we have power we act like that’s true.

That is the danger of entitlement. When we expect more than we’re due, we are in danger of robbing those around us of their own autonomy. Our assumptions shape our actions. Unintentional harm becomes easy. When we don’t expect boundaries to exist, we step right past them without looking, all in what we think is good will.

We don’t want to do this. How do we stop?

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I’ve written about my choice to leave the field of chemistry in Model View Culture’s Lean Out issue.

I Didn’t Want To Lean Out

Why I Left, How I Left, and What It Would Have Taken to Keep Me in STEM

When I decided to leave, I let go of my intention to continue contributing to the advancement of human knowledge as a scientist and a chemist. I mourned that I would not achieve my goal of changing the culture of organic chemistry, and I knew that my leaving would mean one less woman for other women to talk to, network with, and lean on for professional support. I fought feelings of obligation and squashed that nagging sense that I was letting down The Sisterhood™.

I was furious. I saw that little about my situation was fair, but there it was, and there I was.

In the end, I chose my own health and happiness and I chose self-respect.

You can find the rest here.